My wife's parents marked their 50th anniversary yesterday. Quite a milestone. We celebrated a few days earlier by gathering the clan for a few days of fun, relaxation and togetherness in a beautiful setting. The children and grandchildren (and spouses) contributed to a memory book that we presented to the happy couple. Here's what I wrote for the book:
They were once two trees,
I’m quite certain.
I have seen the pictures:
Two strong saplings planted side by side
With only a hand’s breadth of daylight between them.
Any arborist worth his shovel would say
They were too close for both to thrive —
Roots competing for the same nutrients,
Leaves reaching for the same patch of sunlit sky.
I cannot tell what yielding their unity required,
What individual desires were left behind
To bring them to this state
Where trunks and barks have joined.
A young mother, children in tow,
Follows my gaze to the magnificent, sheltering crown.
No words escape her lips — just a low, contented hum.
They stop in its shade for lunch,
Unaware of the half century of stretching and striving
That has shaped their refuge,
Of the storms that have weathered and strengthened this tree.
Only that there is peace and comfort here.
Every marriage brings together two unique individuals. Even for people with much in common, there are differences to negotiate. This presents a great challenge, and a great opportunity.
One evening this past week we did some Myers-Briggs personality testing with my wife's extended family. It was interesting to see that many of the spouse pairings were quite opposite in type (I'm an INFP - my wife is an ESTJ or ESFJ, too close to call). I guess opposites do attract. I am struck by the power of a partnership that can blend differences and make them strengths.
It seems that this kind of strength from difference requires a high degree of commitment and a great deal of work and flexibility along the way. It's not easy, but so worth it. That was clear to me this week as I observed the benefit of 50 years of such a union, evidenced by children and grandchildren of character and strength gathered for a wonderful celebration.
There is peace and comfort there.
2 comments:
I like all of your poems. You are a great writer. I'm glad you've returned to writing. It was beautiful what you said about your wife filling the void poetry and music used to fill.
B & I are also polar opposites in our Myers-Briggs testing. We decided that although the way we do things are so drastically different, it works, because we share common values. You two are a great couple and we miss you both.
Thank you for your blog. I found it through searching google for porridge (thank maijablog for that link)and have gratefully read your thoughts on love and committment. Very true.
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